Mary Whedbee Giftos

April 19, 2025

CHARLOTTE – Mary Whedbee Giftos died peacefully on Saturday, April 19, 2025, in Charlotte, NC after a courageous battle with heart failure and dementia. She was 77.

She was born on August 26, 1947, in Denver, CO to James Simpson Whedbee and Nina Noble Whedbee.  When she was a young child, her family moved to Baltimore, MD where she grew up on a farm and developed a lifelong passion for animals and gardening.  She graduated from Bryn Mawr High School in 1964 and George Washington University in 1968.  During her lifetime she lived in many places including Baltimore, MD; Cleveland, OH; Richmond, VA; Jacksonville, FL; Cape Elizabeth, ME and Charlotte, NC.  While in Richmond, she pursued graduate studies to become a hospital chaplain and served on the frontline of the AIDS epidemic in the 1980’s caring for dying patients before medical treatments were available.

Mary was known to family and friends for her determination and tenacity.  She faced much personal tragedy and adversity in her life including the death of her parents in an airplane crash when she was 21, bouts of colon cancer and breast cancer, crippling arthritis, and heart failure and dementia later in life.  Despite these challenges, wherever she lived, Mary persevered and dedicated herself to raising her family of five children, imparting her love of books and appreciation of music to them, filling her elegant homes with loving pets, especially her faithful black labs, and tending to her beautiful and peaceful gardens.

Mary is survived by her five children, Michael Giftos and his wife, Kelly of Charlotte, NC, Aileen Wisell of Cape Elizabeth, ME, John Giftos and his wife, Mindi of Tallahassee, FL, Nina Morris and her husband, Kieron of Cape Elizabeth, ME, and Jamie Barents and her husband, Matt of Berryville, VA; nine grandchildren, Michael and Jacqueline Giftos of Charlotte, NC; Mary Isabel Wisell of Cape Elizabeth, ME; James and Jake Giftos of Tallahassee, FL; Finn and Aidan Morris of Cape Elizabeth, ME; and Mick and Samantha Barents of Berryville, VA.  She is also survived by her four brothers, James Whedbee and his wife, Susan of New York City, Dominic Whedbee of St. Joseph’s Abbey in Spencer, MA, Joseph Whedbee of Baltimore, MD, and Peter Whedbee and his wife, Nadine of Arvada, CO.

Also surviving is the father of her five children, Peter Michael Giftos of Ponte Vedra Beach, FL with whom she was married from 1969 to 2010.

Her family would like to thank the staff at Waltonwood Providence Assisted Living for their patient and kind care of “Miss Mary” during her final year of life, and the Visiting Angels caregivers and Via Health Partners hospice nurses for the tender and compassionate care they provided at the end of her life.

A private graveside memorial service will be held at Evergreen Cemetery in Charlotte, NC.

Arrangements are in the care of Kenneth W. Poe Funeral & Cremation Service, 1321 Berkeley Ave., Charlotte, NC 28204; (704) 641-7606.  Online condolences may be shared at www.kennethpoeservices.com.

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Comments

  • James Harwood

    Such a sweet and caring lady . She will be missed ! Loved her humor ! ❤️

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  • Chris Franklin

    While working at the Cape Elizabeth Land Trust Mary was a valued and admired friend of the organization, always willing to help out. She was a genuinely caring and generous person. I always enjoyed her direct manner and her deep appreciation of the natural world.

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  • mary s walker

    I am so sorry for your loss. Mary was such a good person. She had a big heart and would go out of her way to help you even while struggling herself. Her family meant everything to her. It was a privelege to have her as a friend. I said a rosary for her and will continue to pray for her. May her soul rest in peace.

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  • Deborah Dean-Smith

    Mary was such an inspiration for me. Her positive energy and beautiful smile were always present. Even through her struggles she always found joy. She loved her animals. Especially her horses and dogs. We would talk for hours about horses, past and present. The sparkle in her eyes would beam at the memories. I helped her train her very special horse Zoe. Such an amazing partnership they had together. I remember when Zoe was just a youngster and a bit excitable at times, Mary would just laugh at her and keep riding. I pray that Mary and Zoe are reconnected and are laughing away!
    I will miss you Mary, but your spirit will live on. May you Rest in Peace.

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  • Lili from Danang, Vietnam

    Dear Mary,
    Your presence in the life of my family was very precious. My stepfather, Mr. Herbert Fuller, and my mother, Mrs. Hoa Dien Truong Thi, always felt tremendous love and respect for you. My siblings, Annie Nguyenduy from San Francisco, and Tuan Nguyenduy from Orlando, FL, both have fond and lovely memories of you. And I feel honored and blessed to have known you, to have experienced your love and care over the years. Thank you.
    I would like to extend my deepest condolences to Mary's family.
    With gratitude and love.
    Lili

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  • Lisa Hopkins Wheeler

    As my older cousin, Mary was a part of my life from very early on, instilling in me a love of horses and other critters. I remember my mother being very annoyed when I came home from riding ponies at the farm with another kitten from Mary. She and her brothers and then her children were a constant at our home in Baltimore for many years and a real comfort to my mother after Uncle Jimmy and Aunt Nina’s death. We’ve not seen so much of each other over the past many years, but the times we have, have meant so much to Mark and Isabelle and me, I will always remember her laugh and her way of making us feel welcomed and cherished. I so appreciated her strong sense of family, especially after I lost my parents. I send all my love to Jim, Joe, Mike, Peter and all the children who probably don’t remember me, except for Nina whom I saw a couple of years ago in Maine. This is a very sad time, but Mary’s spirit of love and courage lives on in all of us and I’m going to hold onto that as hard as I can.
    All my love,
    Lisa

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  • Susie Rindal

    I had the opportunity to see Mary s few months ago in her new Charlotte residence -We had a good visit- many Lindy stories registered and she remembered many details- Of a wonderful mare. I wax traveling with my black labs and Mary wanted to walk out to see them- I thought we had just put tye topic of her getting a dog in her condo was really out of the question- but she had that look in her eye - like- oh yeah - just watch me- we hugged goodbye- well vintage Mary- she goes right back to her condo and probably calls John about 17 times in twelve minutes! That she HAD to order a dog- I think she was set on a spaniel- She always made it happen - no matter what it was- I will always run to your space and memories of you for your spirit- I know you are smiling - on a horse right now- calling to s dog- Thanks Mary-much love Susie

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  • Judy Fusinaz & family

    Our sincere condolences to all her family on her passing, a beautiful lady , may she RIP ??

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  • Fr. Guerric Heckel

    a corrected versio of a previous post
    I offer my heartfelt condolences to Mary's family. I had the good fortune to serve as a hospital chaplain with Mary at St Mary's hospital in Richmond, VA. I will always remember Mary for her integrity and courage to speak up when others were too timid to do so. She had a gift of making illness and death more bearable for a lot of people.
    Fr. Guerric Heckel

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  • June Cawood

    Mary left way to soon-
    We co-owned many a great dog together for Hunt test ( testing). She knew what she wanted and always set goals - kept us focused for sure! Till we see each other again - keep thise puppies busy!
    You are lived. stephen and June Cawood

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